Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Speed 3: Bombed on Bus

Welcome to Taranna...

TORONTO, June 4 (UPI) -- A Toronto Transit Commission bus driver was fired after police found his blood alcohol level was allegedly three times over the limit while he was working. A frightened passenger called 911 Tuesday morning saying it appeared the driver was drunk, the Toronto Sun reported Wednesday. Transit control radioed the driver to pull over, but after all of his passengers fled at one stop, he continued until police were able to pull him over, the Toronto Star said. A roadside breathalyzer indicated a blood alcohol level more than three times the 0.08 limit, and a second, more comprehensive test at the police station showed the same, police said. Brad Ross, director of TTC corporate communications, told the National Post the driver was fired immediately.

This is how we do it in Toronto. We wake up in the morning and have a hearty bowl of oatmeal, kiss the wife and kids goodbye, get in the car, quickly head over to the bar and get shit faced drunk; then casually hop on the public transit bus we're driving and proceed to shuttle a bus load of people around the city. When passengers got on this bus, they didn't think their $2.75 bought them the ride of their life. Hell, it's a lot cheaper than Wonderland (local amusement park), and the lines aren't nearly as long. This particular driver is now looking forward to a long career in alcoholism. One has to assume that this wasn't his first try at drunk bus driving. I wonder how many times this guy fell off the wagon and into the driver's seat of a public vehicle.

Graphic Recreation of Intoxicated Driver's Route



(Click Image For Full Size)

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15 comments:

Bee said...

That passenger that called 911 was such a jerk! Poor bus driver just wanted to have some fun while doing his job and who could fault him? ;op

Thanks for visiting! I’m book marking you too!

Kori said...

Um, thanks...and how many of us voted that we had the alcoholic uncle? That would be mine. Not really, but it could have been. If he drove a bus. Or lived in Toronto. I loved your graphics, by the way.

Humor Hero said...

With the price of gas these days, trips to Wonderland (or trips in general) are out of the question. Drunk public bus driving seems like a worthy alternative. You get your amusement and you help a bunch of people save gas. What am I missing?

P.S. My Uncle Bob is also the guy who makes the kids hyper and then leaves.

Sully Sullivan said...

That's why there's multiple choices, my friend. I'm always looking out for you...

davey said...

Sully, the Toronto Tourism Division called and they want to know when you're going to come back to work. They told me to call you 'a bum'.

Personally, I think they should shut up; you're doing a great job.

VE said...

That looks like a fun hobby...but I'm not too big on the morning oatmeal so I'll skip that part. I think I'll have to one-up him and try a plane for my public transportation binge. How hard can it really be to fly those? Most of those guages are just for show, right?

Random Chick said...

We do that too in the U.S. except we shout, "The End is Near!" before we get on the bus. We're Christians, you know.

Nick Tomlinson said...

Next week: Toronto Dentists. Thrills, pills, drills.

Jen said...

Whoa. What a totally splendid idea!

The Offended Blogger said...

Hehe. I almost feel sorry for the poor bastard, being a bus driver would be enough to drive me to drink.

The graphic was ace. :)

becca said...

Oh, Canada. What will you do next...

THE FLINT SKINNY said...

If you can't drive a bus drunk...what can you do? Maybe it's just down here in the US, but I am pretty sure all of our bus drivers are drunk, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

And your comment was spot on...Jesus does say the darnedest things.

~Static~ said...

Whewie! At least my drunk bus drivin' canadian uncle didn't run over poor little Johnny's puppy or that blind wheelchair girl... did he? Eh?

Megan said...

A nice follow-up to this would be an "interview" with one of the passengers. I can hear the words "Let's Roll" already...

(Bad, bad Megan.)

Confessions of an Insomniac said...

That is awesome ... a public transportantion vehicle is on the run from the cops! I guess it beats a story here about a year or so ago ... a cop showed up to the scene of double fatality collision completely drunk. He is arrested in front of everyone ... including the families of the deceased.